Help Line Hero Gifts

'And press nine if you are loosing the will to live!'

"Foster failure"

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

Lifesaver!

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

It would be so great if, just once, someone didn't waltz in here complaining about something. Emergency.

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

Flat tire in the middle of nowhere. It was good to have a shoulder to cry on.

'Hello?...Customer service?...Uhhh...How do you open the box?'

"We're not a seafood restaurant -- this building has a pretty severe lobster infestation."

'Say what you like about Cloud Computing, but the technical support is amazing.'

On hold, Rick listens to "As Time Goes By" over and over again.

Fire at the Bisto Factory

'You can only take this so far Ms.Jones.'

Rescuing the Fish in the Flood

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

'Samaritans, mission control'

Do your own conveyancing...Do it yourself plumbing and heating...Embalm your own relatives.

"Oops - I think I hit 'enter.'"

The Game Man: He puts a lorry load of trout into his water every spring.

'You're welcome, Ma'am! Besides, this is on my way!'

"Yes, it's big, but we've got bigger mountains to climb!"

'Officer, I think that young man is trying to steal that old lady'

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

"Remember, measure twice, cut once, stand baffled, string together obscenities."

A Skinny Dog

"Woopsee! Wrong button. And after you got through all those menus, too! Too bad. Good luck next time! hahaha!"

'Federal Communications Commission - May I help you?'

'Help me out!"

'Hello? Hello?? I can't hear you... HELLO? Please fix your telephone and call again later!'