Heist Story Lover Pillows

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

"Paper or plastic?"

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

"I started to think outside the box. Then I started to think outside the law."

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"It's a beautiful day except for the murders."

"Make it look like an accident"

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

Handcuffs.

Sketches by Boz - A Pickpocket Being Wheelbarrowed to Police Station

Fingerprint Show

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

"Stop pretending you have Mob connections."

Nice tie, Al - hand it over."

'Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs record anything incriminating.'

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

Museum. So the thieves got past us with a few items, it's not like the stuff was new.

"Ah ha! Organised criminals..."

'Let's go over it again: the cat is out cold, and the only clue is a little wet castle...'

The Future of Detective Work

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

"Don't tell me!...You're on the Jack Straw witness protection programme too."

'Smile and the whole world smiles with you ... I was mugged by a smiling clown!'

Organised Crime A.G.M.

"Keep it running."

'Oh, how moving, it's a woodland burial, Dennis.'

'Hey, none of us like having to fly south every year, but couldn't you have taken a bus?'

Detectabull

"So despite the strong smell of petrol you still claim that your husband, cat and budgie all spontaneously combusted?"

'I got twenty years for abduction, what about you?'

Almost got away with it, until he tried to bury the body and dug a little too deep.

'After you refused to treat me I began to worry that something terrible might happen to you.'