Heist Story Lover Pillows

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

"Paper or plastic?"

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

"I started to think outside the box. Then I started to think outside the law."

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"It's a beautiful day except for the murders."

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

"Make it look like an accident"

Handcuffs.

Sketches by Boz - A Pickpocket Being Wheelbarrowed to Police Station

Fingerprint Show

"Stop pretending you have Mob connections."

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

Nice tie, Al - hand it over."

'Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs record anything incriminating.'

"Ah ha! Organised criminals..."

'Let's go over it again: the cat is out cold, and the only clue is a little wet castle...'

Detectabull

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

'Smile and the whole world smiles with you ... I was mugged by a smiling clown!'

"So despite the strong smell of petrol you still claim that your husband, cat and budgie all spontaneously combusted?"

'After you refused to treat me I began to worry that something terrible might happen to you.'

'Oh, how moving, it's a woodland burial, Dennis.'

Organised Crime A.G.M.

'I got twenty years for abduction, what about you?'

'Hey, none of us like having to fly south every year, but couldn't you have taken a bus?'

"Keep it running."

"Don't tell me!...You're on the Jack Straw witness protection programme too."

Almost got away with it, until he tried to bury the body and dug a little too deep.

'They found your gene for anti-social behavior, but they're still looking for he one for robbing liquor stores.'