Heavenly Humor Collector Mugs

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

Vegetarian Birds

"It's true: no more burpees."

"Eat me"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Cake Free Zone

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

A watch face with Stonehenge

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'