Heavenly Banter T-Shirts

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Local News in Heaven

Shoe repair

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"I don't see HIS name on it."

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"I opted for the upgrades."

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Angels' Band: Balloons holding up a guitar.

Cherub string quartets

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

"The last thing I remember is hearing the doctor say oops!"

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

'Just a one-hour pass. I'm a process server.'

'He seems nice.'

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

'You'll have to wait a couple of minutes... we're still downloading information from your soul's black box recorder.'

Keyboard in Heaven

"No, your body is actually alive and well back on earth - your mind has just arrived at the gates of blissful dementia."

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

Angel learning to fly...

Valuation of Heaven

"It's how I get someone's attention."