Healthcare Wit Appreciator T-Shirts

"I can see it from here."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Cat Burglar

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"I stand corrected."

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

Healthy Patients Only

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Get well soon!

Voltaire

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

Welsh practice launches formal objection to 'unmanageable' new housing.

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

New Marvel Heroes

"You call all this a side effect?"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'