Healthcare Industry Critic Prints

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

'Our new diet pills have been a disaster. The damn things work!'

Medical Supplies Company

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Have you drugged your child today?

Republican Healthcare

Surgical Self-Service

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

"But Doctor - will the government pay for Ferris Buelleritis?"

"I'm sorry, Mr Percival, but what you've got is not economically treatable."

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"Not every day you get a health minister in the surgery..."

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."