Healthcare Empath Pillows

'I'll have to reschedule your appointment -- the doctor had an attack of squeamishness.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Licensed Therapist

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

Can't even hold signs well.

The Female Brain and The Other One

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Man with broken leg in cast.

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

'How many are just staying together for the kids? Ok, that's good, very good.'

"I suggest you take an Empathy pill every day."

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

The New A*****e

"This is the time of year when you begin to appreciate the 'Time's' fuller coverage."

STRIP *Community Care * Office rage"

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

No safe haven

"Get a hold of yourself, Jerry! We ALL knew the risks we were taking with the new corporate motto. When you care, it's easy to get hurt!"

"Now I'm well, I miss my doctor."

"I was hoping to settle this without avoiding some sort of argument."

"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."

'You are a very good doctor. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"Good news, Mrs. Jennings! The lump in your throat isn't cancer, it's from watching a lot of sad movies."

"You need to stop comparing yourself to other people."

'You think you have a hard life? -- I have to listen to crazy people every day!'

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"