Health Store Owner T-Shirts

Alternative medicine - some of its remedies are possibly nothing more than snake oil

Health Shop: 'Got anything more exciting?' 'Sure, under the counter we've got beefburgers and chips...and cream cakes!'

'If it wasn't for hypochondriacs we'd be right in it!'

Cod Liver Oil: A group of angry Atlantic Cods have finally found the person who has the remains of their former Livers being sold as a Health product.

Homeopathy rip off

Man with mousey nose running a health food store

Health Foods; "When did I ever eat back pain and trigger fingers?"

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Cut Price

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Important Food Groups

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

'Uh-oh.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

It's an I-O-Ewe.

"That's when we put those expensive organic snacks in the vending machines."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Apples...37 Spinach...43 Peaches...51

"You never know what will catch on!"

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

'These fruits and vegetables are very colorful, large, free of blemishes, pulpy and tasteless.'