Health Scare Aficionado Prints

'Get back! Get back! Or so help me...I'll eat it!'

Be Healthy

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Fitness guru.'

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

The NHS begins using outside contractors for routine operations.

"In my workout this morning I hit a new personal best, but on a seasonally adjusted basis, my numbers actually fell."

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

"Aways the victim."

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

A tessellation of running figures.

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

"Will he be okay?"

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

Drive Thru Flu Clinic

Just in time for Halloween...

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

'The medication wont cure you, but it's side effects will!'

"...H...5....N...1...?? You got me....but I'm sure it spells trouble."

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

Doctor to man: 'Don't kid yourself. You don't have athlete's foot - more like couch potato's corns.'

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

'Mind your head'

"Some plastic surgeon did a marvelous job on your nose, Miss. Levine. May I have the honor to do likewise for you

"O.K. Which one of you worried well is the most worried?"

'Hepatitits A' coming aggressively from the television towards a man in a chair

"It's a warning from the American Hypochondriacs Association -- you've been overprescribing placebos."

"The bowels, the bowels."

'Professor, why did you choose to become a leading authority on medicinally important plants?' 'I'm a hypochondriac!'

"The light at the end of a tunnel turned from green to red."