Health Satirist Pillows

'So, you're at your computer 18 hours a day, never exercise and rely on caffeine. What's your blog about?'

"You need to take some exercise and lose a bit of weight."

Summer Holiday 2020 COVID-19

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'Consumer alert! Consumer alert! - If it tastes good, spit it out!'

This monument is dedicated to all those cows who laid down their lives to clog the arteries of fat humans everywhere!

"If you ask me, this neigborhood is going to hell. . ."

"It's a good deal. You're getting twenty more teaspoons of sugar for a quarter."

"So, according to our height, weight and age ratio chart, you'd be in great shape if you were and eight foot tall, ninety year old man!"

Covid-19

Energy Drinks

"Isn't that thoughtful? The post office just forwarded these get-well cards to you at your new address!"

"I forgot to take my exercise pill today."

'Another upsetting discovery from the world of nutrition: New studies indicate that the air itself is fattening...'

'Obesity is epidemic, thank heaven.'

'I'm not eating that, it's probably full of cholesterol!'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

PSA Banter.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

Virtual Doctor