Health Insurance Executive Pillows

Jesus Christ, Health Insurance CEO. . . 'Them's the Lumps pal!'

Jesus Christ, Health Insurance CEO

"We can't have Single Payer - what will people do without claim denials and endless hoops to jump through?"

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Occu-Pie Mars

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'That's our mission statement.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

The Solar System (after deregulation)