Health Guidelines Fan Prints

45% of GPs Ignore Nice Hypertension Guide.

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

The Cud Food Guide

Football fans in corona times

"It's empty because the health department banned everything inside the box."

"Since when is 'Broccoli man' a superhero?"

'The knees are the first thing to go.'

Auto Repair. I'm just taking it in for a few adjustments. A visit to the car-o-practor!

Pick Your Own

"You may hear a few wise cracks."

If at first you don't succeed, call your malpractice insurance company.

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

A man splits in half when lifting a heavy box.

"God bless you. Now, put on your bloody mask!"

Coronavirus Flag of the OMS

It takes the fun out of it when the food police say it's okay.

Warning! Do not slam into this sign while chasing after fly balls.

Wise Monkeys and Covid 19

Password?

Tandem face mask

Covid preys those who don't follow the regulations...

Enjoying summer baseball, D-style.

"Seriously?! You're robbing a bank, and you're still not wearing a mask?!!!"

"Ironically, I ended up here because I wouldn't wear one!"

"We are not here to condemn deadly industrial cigarette ingredients! We just want to know - did you or did you not create the tobacco plant?"

I killed my Dad

"Maybe you should think about going on a diet."

Glum parents read document. Woman says: 'The number of parents who can make any sense of league tables has fallen by 0.5 of a per cent.'

"He's following the CDC guidelines and sheltering in place."

"Jane, how could you! He's not even in our social bubble!"

Welcome to hell...