Health Devotee T-Shirts

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"