Health Crisis Critic Pillows

Trump rally

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

The End Is Nigh. . . Told You

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

Govt. UK led by Seance

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

Have you drugged your child today?

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

Surgical Self-Service

Republican Healthcare

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

"Aways the victim."

'You're suffering from a lack of profit-making opportunities within the NHS.'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'