Health Checkup Fanatic T-Shirts

"Hey - long time no see. . . !"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

Valleyview diet clinic

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

"The cape comes off too."

'Be careful...It may not be organic.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"You're flying a little bit right now, aren't you?"

Full System Scan

"Take up some light exercise or a sporting activity - as a football perhaps."

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"Good for you for getting your mammogram."

I'll take this one here.

'You're not totally out of shape - you have a very muscular tongue.'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"You're carrying a lot of tension in your neck."

"Smoke, drink and womanize as much as you like but don't forget to update your will..."

Man checks the gears in his chest.