Health Adviser With A Twist T-Shirts

When I said you needed a varied diet I didn't mean just all 12 varieties of 'Krispy snax'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Govt. UK led by Seance

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"The diagnostic computer think I should defrag your hard drive."

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"Now they're saying shiny things attached to hooks are bad for you."

Jim's Smart Kettle

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

"I'm recommending a more balanced diet."

Food Pyramid.

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

Vaping cigarette

'It's not that he eats between meals -- it's that his meals overlap.'

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

Hewitt says NHS has had best year ever.

Enormous obesity report.

Dr Obama

"Say, Flo, did you make an appointment with a lifestyle counselor?"

"The doctor said I need to shop around for a casket. I asked for a second opinion and he suggested cremation."

Group Insurance/Vitamins

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

'Take god care of your bacteria! it may well be the only culture you'll ever have....'

"I'm a doctor from the future, with revolutionary health advice. Exercise, drink plenty of water and eat your veggies."

'We couldn't afford health care any longer so you better start eating better!'

"Trust me, we did the right thing, those cruise ships can be a hot-bed of germs."

'Let's keep this simple - what part of you doesn't hurt?'