Health Adviser With A Twist T-Shirts

When I said you needed a varied diet I didn't mean just all 12 varieties of 'Krispy snax'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Govt. UK led by Seance

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"The diagnostic computer think I should defrag your hard drive."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"Now they're saying shiny things attached to hooks are bad for you."

"I'm recommending a more balanced diet."

Jim's Smart Kettle

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

Food Pyramid.

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

Vaping cigarette

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

Hewitt says NHS has had best year ever.

'It's not that he eats between meals -- it's that his meals overlap.'

Enormous obesity report.

Dr Obama

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

"Say, Flo, did you make an appointment with a lifestyle counselor?"

Group Insurance/Vitamins

"The doctor said I need to shop around for a casket. I asked for a second opinion and he suggested cremation."

'Take god care of your bacteria! it may well be the only culture you'll ever have....'

"I'm a doctor from the future, with revolutionary health advice. Exercise, drink plenty of water and eat your veggies."

"Trust me, we did the right thing, those cruise ships can be a hot-bed of germs."

"You're my second opinion. . . my wife was my first."

'We couldn't afford health care any longer so you better start eating better!'