Headline Addict Prints

Fear of news.

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Newspaper suicide.

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

The Expert

News for Sale

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

Big Newspaper Delivery

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

"To sum up the political platforms of the candidates....Trump wants to put Hillary in prison, and Hillary wants Trump on the sexual predator list."

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

'I'm afraid we can't make it. Harry just finished watching Meet the Press, C-Span, Face the Nation, Fox News Sunday, the Sunday Times, Newsweek, Time...'

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

"? ???????? ?????, ??? ???????? ? Waukesha County."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"And I thought I was toxic. . ."

The end of election 2016

EU Deal

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

Magazine stand in middle of the desert.

The Original Gossip Columns

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'