Happy Hogger Mugs

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

Lawnmower

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

Cake

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

"Now he expects to come in whenever there's a cold snap."

Man sitting at computer. Home sweet homepage framed on wall.'

I love you too, dear... But can we maybe take a night off from spooning?

'Really? Your daddy's never given you a piggyback ride? Now, that's strange...'

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

'Group hug anyone?'

Three happy men

"They grow up so slow."

'Pursuit of happiness is all very well, but Congress keeps passing laws to make it run faster.'

'It's so cold in here, and the heat is on full blast!'

Needles vs Covid

"I know I'm not using all the chair but I don't do sub-leases!"

Studies show an optimistic attitude can add years to your life ? usually at the expense of everyone else around you.

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

"You knew I had a thing for pillows when you married me."

'What can it be? Golly, I'm on pins and needles.'

'How many effin times!? Skip Sedately!'

"Jeffrey, where'd you go?"

'Go figure, somebody uses my foot as a lucky charm: I don't feel lucky myself...'

'Juggling is great fun: You should try it...'

'You think you've got it tough? Try getting a date when you're divorced with 375 kids!'

Got a light mate?

Hedgehogs crossing the road: 'Don't do it!'

Dog in the Rain.

Twas the night before Christmas and there won't be flight. Santa can't make his rounds, at least not by tonight. But Santa still smiled, it's not a time to be sad, because the best gift of all is one we already had...

"You call this a knot?"

"The hugging’s OK. The humping... not so much."

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