Hands-on Hospitality Enjoyer Mugs

'Another artisanal B&B.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

Cardiac Recovery.

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

Sparrow Hilton

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

Room service.

'Brew?'

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

"And tonight we’re offering 5-1 odds on a kitchen strike."

Shall I be mother?

"There are scones in the oven too, in case you're peckish."

Mattress sale

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

'Good evening. I am your manager and these are Gaston, our chef, Raoul, your wine steward, Andre, your waiter and wilbur, your busboy.'

"Great session, Doc."

"A double room with twin minibars, please!"

"Good evening. Can I start you off with a customer satisfaction survey?"

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."