Handling Surveys Prints

Gentleman answering opinion poll instructs woman to read his answer back.

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'Other than the countless probing how would you rate your stay with us?'

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

Surveys and economic interests

First and last day as census taker...

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

I'm just a pollster, ma'am - I have no idea which candidate is a cat person.

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

"It's ten o'clock, and seventy-seven per cent of the people think all is well!"

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

"Good evening. Can I start you off with a customer satisfaction survey?"

Surveying.

This survey will only take five minutes and will help me improve future floods.

"Excuse me, sir - I'm conducting a survey about stress in the workplace."

"And finally, would you say your fear of crime has increased?"

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'