Hall Of Fame Hopeful T-Shirts

'He's busy fantasizing being inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

Hollywood or bust!

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Welcome to Hollywood

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

Live the Dream!

"I'll bet Miss Parker gets teacher of the year for this."

Not The Real Me

"Hear me out. Batman - again."

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."

Romney refines his platform.

"Sure, if this was New York, I'd be your editor and you'd be the author - but this is L.A., so I'm your agent and you're the whatever."

Oscar Victory

"Well, Clive, what I REALLY want to do it wait on tables."

"That's enough therapy. From here on out, I think I could do a hell of a lot more for both of us as your agent."

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

I'm freaking out! Thursday is dress rehearsal. Nerves? Work! I've got a math and history test on Friday. Why did I ever sign up for the spring musical? Because it's fun? West Fester High School. On my college application it'll look like I had fun. It'll go with your "Looks aren't important" essay.

"Hallelujah, I'm a believer!"

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"I have no head for show business."