Half-sister T-Shirts

This is Sarah, my half-sister.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Robot Parts $5

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Come dine with me!

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Ahhh... close enough."

The Art Student.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Butterfly Woman

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Glastonbury. After.

Larry's used art

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'