Guide In The Corporate Jungle T-Shirts

Mentors guide you through the maze.

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"I hate performance review season."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'The secret to my success? Even as a kid, I never accepted that annoying phrase, 'None of your business.''

"You are aware that we try to make money here, yes?"

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

Female business.

'The good news is that we're making huge profits - the bad news is that we won't be getting a bailout.'

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"I need to catch you after the meeting."

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

'Whomever pulls the sword from the stone will lead this project.'

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

Man climbs a ladder only to find the word HELP.

Workaholics anonymous meeting.

'Of course, you realise my chief of staff has more power and influence than your chief of staff.'

Above reproach.

'Miss Ryder, I'm ready to start executing.'