Guerilla Marketer T-Shirts

The Society for the Elimination of Acronyms hands out t-shirts

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Target your customer.

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"That's our new church mascot."

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

A close shave on the Titanic...

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

"Maybe we'd do better if we called ourselves 'baristas'."

Floss Street Vendor

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

"In the marketplace of ideas, we may not have the best ideas, but we have the best marketing."

Sugar Fix.

"I think you'd make a persuasive salesman."

'It has undergone a thorough research programme. I've shown it to my wife and her sister.'

'I'm sending him out to drum up new business.'

"I can't wait to see our new ad campaign. Wait, don't tell me...it's NEW and IMPROVED!"

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

Top model

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

'The incorporation of the name of Cit-Bolon-Turn the God of Healing into your logo will resonate with everyone who has even the faintest knowledge of Mayan religious nomenclature!'

The price or the biscuits?