Graduating Obedience School Pillows

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Bad dog."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Zombie pet tricks.

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Balloon dog training

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

"Text!"

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"Not until you fetch the other one."

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

'Out of the blue, my Master is now obsessed with having me sit, shake hands and rollover...'

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'