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From the desk of Hillary Clinton...

First and last day as Speaker.

Hillary Clinton Captain of the Ship

William Haig

"As historians debate your merits as a world leader, prepare for lots of trips to hell and back."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"You're fired."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

The Anti-Agent

"Nation-building never works."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."