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Fresh Blood In Politics

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

The Reaper's Arms

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"....and hold the garlic."

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

The Raven in Flight

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

"You dressed!"

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

Trilby - 'Ca fera une fameuse crapule de moins'

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Trilby - 'Oh don't you remember sweet Alice, Ben Bolt?'

"No monster, when I said 'lend me a hand'..."