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Fresh Blood In Politics

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

The Reaper's Arms

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"....and hold the garlic."

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

The Raven in Flight

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

"You dressed!"

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

Trilby - 'Ca fera une fameuse crapule de moins'

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

Trilby - 'Oh don't you remember sweet Alice, Ben Bolt?'

"No monster, when I said 'lend me a hand'..."