Gossiper Prints

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

"I made you a mixtape."

Bagpipes in the bath.

'Jock's a real gentleman as far as we sheep are concerned... He knows how to play the bagpipes, yet doesn't!'

Highland Piper.

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"I think that's one of those annoying flying drones we've been hearing about!"

'The bloke with the violin is on holiday.'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'It's 10 P.M. do you know who's in charge of Egypt - the Muslim Brotherhood or the military?'

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

'The bloke with violin is on holiday.'

Jazz Bagpipes

Who Do Those Maniacs Think They Are?

'Hey! Have you heard the awful news?!'

'...And to faithfully execute the duties of Emperor of the United States of Newt...'

Desert Island Bagpipes

Quizzo tonight! Win a tee shirt! Trivia is my middle name, but I have all the tee shirts I need. So, tell me something: Are there Quizzo groupies?

Woman pulling tartan trolley and a Scotsman pulling bagpipes.

"You'll be in charge of the music down here."

101 uses of a dead cat: bagpipe

'He says he's training to be a world champion weightlifter - With a knife and fork.'

China deploys troops to prepare for an American invasion of North Korea. Russia warns that if America attacks Syria again, Russia will respond with force. Y'know, last time we had a world war, we weren't the ones everyone was defending themselves against. Sometimes when you're playing tag, it's more fun to be "it." We should have out own political show.

'The King replaced me with easy listening!'

'So when do I get to see one of those scenic geysers you've been raving about?'

'they must have the same plumber we do.'

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

Crime and punishment - football.

'The King replaced me with easy listening!'

"... And in other news: Still no truce at 75 Greene Street, apartment 3F."

"I'm writing this up as justifiable homicide."

How the US Succeeded in Afghanistan

'It could be worse. In Hell you play the bagpipes.'

Medvedev & Putin.

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'