Good Luck Wish Gifts

'We wish you well.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Overjumpers

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"Why bother?"

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Toi Toi Toi!"

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Asking out a palm reader.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Pie Filling Reader

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"It will be all your fault."