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"Chinese food? I'll call it in if you'll pick it up."

Wordplay: Fore.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

The natural selection process in golf.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

Mulligan's first mulligan.

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

"... And how much am I bid for this set of, John McEnroe's golf clubs?"

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

Meditating on a 4th for golf!