Golf Ball Whisperer T-Shirts

"What happened to you?" "A maximum handicapper"

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

Jack of all trades

Local Knowledge

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Bite out of fishing pier.

'You lifted your head.'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"My family has been fishing these waters for nearly 40 years. . ."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Ice fisher.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"River well stocked this year."

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Man fishing with large bait

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

Reverse psychology

Lady to man taking picture of fish: 'Wiggle him a little and get him to smile.'

"Where are you going? I said we need to talk."

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

"I think it loves us."

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."