Godparents Pillows

'Thank God we're cute. You only get one chance to make a good first impression.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'The child is very illogical'

'Hang on a minute, haven't we already got a Tracey?'

'I'm bored with looking at people's feet all day!'

Milk sideburns

3 days without an accident.

"I'm hoping things will turn around. I just signed with a hot new day-care center."

'We have to get them out more.'

"I baptise thee 'Callita Day'."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Toilet Training

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Baby blanket.

'Chlamydia, that's a new one on me.'

'Boy, that brings back memories.'

". . . and what is the user name of this child?"

Flower Child

Saving for College.

Halloween Mobile

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Christening

Christening

"You can over-encourage kids, you know."

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

Baby's First Opera

"He started teething this morning."

Mobile phone damage to children.

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"The baby apologises for missing the Christening, he had an urgent appointment."

'She won't go anywhere without her Teddy Bear...'