Getting Report Card Pillows

"My grades may be low. But, on the bright side, so is my cholesterol."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

'Mistakes were made...'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."