Gavel Fan Pillows

Lady Justice.

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Justice 4 Ron

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

Newton Discovers Surrealism.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

Emergency Underpants

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

"The cultural appropriation is annoying, but the herring is delicious!"

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

What's really in junk food...

"I'd like a portrait of me in the style of him."

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

Late library book. Judge says, 'I don't think you're taking this seriously'.

"In recognition of Jim's achievements during his long career with the company, we've put together this hilarious twenty minute gag reel..."

Must you be so judgmental?

Pirates of Venice

Judge knocking at 'audits' so that 'CPA's' lose their money

'He's at this awkward teenage stage when your body doesn't grow evenly...'