Gavel Fan Pillows

Lady Justice.

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Justice 4 Ron

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'What do you MEAN this IS the show?!! Let me see the tickets!'

Newton Discovers Surrealism.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

Emergency Underpants

"The cultural appropriation is annoying, but the herring is delicious!"

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

'Mom, Dad, what do you mean, I'm adopted?'

"I'd like a portrait of me in the style of him."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

What's really in junk food...

Other than a high chair, what qualifies you to sit in judgment? A lethal gavel.

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

Late library book. Judge says, 'I don't think you're taking this seriously'.

"In recognition of Jim's achievements during his long career with the company, we've put together this hilarious twenty minute gag reel..."

Judge knocking at 'audits' so that 'CPA's' lose their money

Pirates of Venice

"Overruled!"