Gastronomic Grumbler T-Shirts

"We saw some inspired lunacy, then had some uninspired Italian."

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

The Cat's Alarm Clock

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'I would kill for a truffle.'

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

Rodin's Irish Judge

"The planet is all wobbly this morning."

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

The Master chef had produced his masterpiece... a monster Danish pastry!

Heathrow Protesters - This airport's rubbish!

"OK, now here comes the lava."

Le Bolshie Chef.

'Why does the phone always have to ring when I'm out of the bath?!'

Man - 'This coffee tastes like mud!' Woman - 'It was ground this morning.'

'Mum! Mum!... My egg's gone all runny!'

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'

"The sooner they take you off vice patrols the better."

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

'No, I'm still standing in this stupid line looking at the back of somebody's stupid head.'

"Perfect weather,wounderful food...and it all distracted me from spending the whole day at my computer terminal!"

"Best served at street temperature, delicious served with dustbin chipsor gutter squashed, half eaten kebab..."

'I hate Mondays!'

Classical gas - musician farting music

House of Beans.

"Voila!! For the Lady, Seafood Linguine, and I believe Sir ordered the Chef's Surprise?"

"If you are angry at being kept on hold, press 1, if you are furious press 2, if you are apoplectic with rage ..."

Chicken running out of restaurant, waiter: "Err, chickens off"

'We've figured out your problem. You're allergic to grapes.'

"Whoever invented the obituary page is a real jerk."

"Teaching's a joy until the first bell. Then the whole day's ruined."

'Irritable bowl syndrome'

"Where's the snooze button on this thing?" "Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!"

"Too sunny for you. Too dry. Whatever next?"