Gargoyle Enthusiasts Pillows

"Mike, Mike, Mike! Guess what day it is!!!"

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"I love an ape, secure in his masculinity!"

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

Giant gorilla peers at female victim. She says into cellphone: "I can't talk now, he's right here."

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Good grief, Wilson! At least act like you're enjoying it! It's for my blog!"

"Hey. Stop that. You're creeping us out."

Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

"He was chained to his kennel, and since I have opposable thumbs, I was able to remove his collar and set him free..."

'Honey, I need the Drano again!'

Goose escapes the tv.

"I don't care if he's an endangered species, captain - I'm going to blast him."

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

Fighting Gondoliers.

'Personally, I think your idea of writing nursery rhymes is dumb, Mother.'

'You're not the only eight hundred pound gorilla in the room, you know.'

'They took me off the endangered species list? They wouldn't dare!'

"Happy New Year!"

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

"Time to go, guys-It's been real…!"

'Eww, when did this building get that hideous gargoyle?'

So Sympathetic

'Our house is directly in the migratory path of Canada geese, so we keep the windows open until mid-November.'

'Do you have The Jungle Book? I don't know why, but he's desperate to read it.'

"Aw, geez. I wanted a whitewall."

'Wrong building you big ape.'

"Kids and grand kids squared away forever ago. All set with money. No energy for a whole court thing. So-o-o... maybe you just die?" "Whatever makes you happy, sweet cheeks."

'You ask him to sing. I don't speak Italian.'

Honk if you're a goose.

'You're too late - a bear with a sweet toorh ate me out of house and home.'

Working from home.