Garden Show Pillows

Gardener of the Year.

Prize vegetables.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Agility God

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Canape?

Award Winning Gardener

Cat Show

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

"That's just not the real me."

Sunflowers with Sunglasses.

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

"It's called being preemptive."

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Collective unconscious.

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

'Damn showdog people!'

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

"Listen, buddy, a lot of dogs accidentally wee-wee at Westminster."

"Your roots are showing."

Best in Heat.

'The woman who crossed the street when she say Marmaduke. . . I think she was his groomer.'

Now that, my friend, is a beer garden!

Most dog-like dog.

"Some of my peonies go back to 1872."