Game Planer Pillows

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"We only got six days of funding."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

God's Subcontractors

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

Waiting for retirement.

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

Engineer on the move.

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"I'd love to sit down and discuss my project with you some time. Let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you."

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

The Best Laid Plans

Father Time Management

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'