Game Guilt Pillows

'Wait a minute -- you did all this stuff in a VIDEO GAME?'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'So, now we have ascertained who is responsible...'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I'm tired of being used as a scapegoat."

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'It's so much better since business became computerized -- it was so hard to blame things on typewriters.'

Business cartoon showing a business man headed toward 'blame'.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

"I will be reading a prepared statement, but I don't know who prepared it, so don't blame me!"

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

My Gay Son Never Calls

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

"Look, I'm not blaming you. I'm just suing you."

'Well, if no one is willing to take responsibility for it, we'll blame it on climate change.'

"It's only a game."

"Being a twin is great. I always have a scapegoat."

"Today, Trump blamed Obama, Syria blamed terrorists, Russia blamed US aggression, the US blamed Putin..."

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'

'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'

'If you are wondering why I always have a smile, in the face of adversity, it's because I have you as a scapegoat.'

'Don't think of it as being a scapegoat - think of it as being the go-to guy for blame absorption.'

'I know I'm just a weather reporter, doc, but I feel guilty every time it rains.'