Gag Collector T-Shirts

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

The magic of April Fools' morning.

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Sure I can't pop that in a bag for you, sir?"

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

"You must see someone about your problem."

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

The Fart Side

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.

'My first drink since my accident.'

The dark secret about where the Easter Bunny gets the candy...

"Don't worry. I'm doing someone's liver resection tomorrow and I'll grab one of their kidneys."

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

'Methane Happens.'

'Brother John had discovered a loophole in the vow of silence'

'This milk smells funny.'

My uncle was a world-famous chainsaw juggler. For one show.