Future Fast-forwarder Pillows

'I wish I could fast forward today...'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The fate of the emigrant

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

Evolution.

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Distributor in love with a multitasking robot.

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

Paw readings

Olympic Climate

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'It's Blurred.'

A word from James Cameron. . .

'I need both hands for steering.'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

Futuristic Teenagers.

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'We programmed it to simulate living conditions in the year 2000, and it's become hysterical.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'In the future, that should produce thousands of PhD theses.'