Future Alumni Planner T-Shirts

'According to this, we don't get any clout until we're alumni.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pipe Dream.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"Three more years of high school."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

Saving for College.

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Where do you expect to be ten years from now?"

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Good Luck with your finals.

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."