Furniture Sales Associate T-Shirts

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

Furniture. I don't care what style. I just want a couch that matches her fur.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Cut Price

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

Fittd shēt

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'These are called, 'Diet Pants.' They'll never fit, but you'll burn 250 calories trying to get into them.'

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

Ok, now the Swedish mouse is just showing off. IKEA maze.

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"More concealer?"