Fur Baby Fancier Gifts

"Let's get the ball."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Bathing the dog

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

Fur Baby

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

Upper East Side Dog Park

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'We know you have a cat.'

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

Cat and owner sticking out tongues at each other.

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

'Oh there you are...you naughty girl! What have you been up to this time?'

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."

"The narrative seems contrived."

"Pampered?"

Pet Adoptions

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.