Funny Office Moments Lover Pillows

'Don't forget to post my parcel.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Bo're'droom

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

'What's wrong now?'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"