Funny Baby Stories Fan Prints

Freak Family - please don't be looking at me...

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

Newborn making the V-sign

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

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'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

"Next time your virtual fish dies, please don't try flushing your computer down the toilet."

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

'Kid, would you please keep your head down! I can't see where I'm going...'

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

'....and how big was this bee, Sir?'

Even before we began to order in, my dad was always keen to skip the dishes!

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

"Well, do you have proof it wasn't bigfoot?

"You've really outdid yourself this time. A real masterpiece!"

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

"Baby FOMO."

"Gee, my first man cave!"

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

"'Waaaaah, waaaaah!' is not an answer!"

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

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'Statistically, drooling is only cute for the first six months. After that we'll have to start screaming in public to get any kind of attention.'

'Wait a minute...what am I doing? I can't count yet.'

'She just got her first credit card application in the mail.'