Frustrated Phone Friend Gifts

"This is NHS direct.You are in a queue,approximate waiting time is 4 hours."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Can't Vote/Why Vote?

"A watched file never loads..."

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

Tedium

In case of computer breakdown break glass

"The doctor will bill you now."

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'

"My computer crashed. . . to the ground when I got frustrated and threw it out the window."

'I know the computer's slow, but this really isn't a better way to enter data.'

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

"These kid computer games are so hard to learn that I've decided to skip my second childhood."

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

Education Payroll: 'We're trying to resolve your salary problem or, at the very east, put you on hold for th rest of the day.'

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

"A brand new credit card and not an ATM in sight!:

"I just got a second notice on my credit card bill. But I never even got a first notice."

'Yes sir, we still have Mr Edwards on hold from last thursday...'

"You feel like throwing your computer out the window? Sure, as long as it's fully depreciated!"

Voice Jail

"Eighty-five dollars, just to poke my head through the door! Doesn't that make you sick?"

"yetthhh, i hold..."

"If I have an inner child, I hope he comes out and helps me with my computer problem."

"You're darn right I'm angry: my reputation has been ruined by my behavior."

Feelings towards radios #5 Man angrily kicking a radio.

Regretting buying a computer from a franchise rather than a local store.

'If this is the conflict resolution hotline, why are you ticking me off??!!

When Cell Phone Users Go to Hell