Frugal Fixer Prints

'What's this, your estimate or your telephone number?'

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

Home Business - Printer Ink.

Man patching up his bag.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

Enlightened Cursing

"She does this when she's tired."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

DIY.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

Super glue . . .

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

"I can't find the instructions."

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

Irritable dowel syndrome

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.