Friend Who Is A Mother Mugs

Fertility Clinic - 'This designer baby is no longer fashionable...'

'Ahhh...'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Bad hair day!

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Roe v. Wade

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'I know I complimented you on that outfit last time you wore it, but that was in 1980.'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Loofah Lady

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

Menu. Menu. The good thing about girls' night out is also the bad thing about girls' night out: No men.

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"I want something in which to vote for Mrs. Luce."

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'