Friend Of Parents T-Shirts

"Well, I guess that's the last time the Cullings ever invite us over!"

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

Infantry.

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Senior Jeopardy!

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

Young Gums

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"He's only energetic on sunny days."

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

Mistaken baby ducks.

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Sermon Applause.